Auditions
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Auditions
Rumors
by
Neil Simon
February 19-20, 2018 at 6:30

 

Auditions will start at 6:30.  You will be asked to read from the script with other people auditioning. 
For more information, call the theatre at 615 826-6037 and leave a message.  Someone will get back with you as soon as possible.


At a large, tastefully-appointed Sneden's Landing townhouse, the Deputy Mayor of New York has just shot himself. Though only a flesh wound, four couples are about to experience a severe attack of Farce. Gathering for their tenth wedding anniversary, the host lies bleeding in the other room, and his wife is nowhere in sight. His lawyer, Ken, and wife, Chris, must get "the story" straight before the other guests arrive. As the confusions and mis-communications mount, the evening spins off into classic farcical hilarity.

Cast Descriptions

KEN GORMAN – (40) A well-to-do lawyer. Wealthy, but by no means pretentious. Takes 

charge of the situation. Married to Chris. Halfway through the show, a gunshot causes his 
temporary deafness. 
  

CHRIS GORMAN – (mid-30’s) Another lawyer, married to Ken. Beautiful, easily flustered. 

Frantically tries to maintain normalcy at the party. Has recently quit smoking, which 
drives her to drink a bit more. 
 
LENNY GANZ – (Late 30’s, early 40’s) – A wealthy accountant, distraught over the recent 
destruction over his new car. Starts the show with an extreme case of whiplash. Intolerant 
of the gossipy-lifestyle that he is often involved in. 
 
CLAIRE GANZ – (Late 30’s) – Lenny’s wife. Very concerned with appearances (hers and 
others’). Starts the play with a swollen lip. Likes to gossip. 
 
ERNIE CUSACK – (Early 50’s) – a psychiatrist. Affable, smokes a pipe. Loves his wife very 
much. Tries to be as helpful as possible cooking the evening’s dinner. 
 
COOKIE CUSACK – (40’s) – has her own cooking show. Suffers from extreme back spasms. 
Loves her husband very much. A bit absent-minded at times. 
 
GLENN COOPER – (30-40) A handsome man running for State Senate. Worried about his 
own reputation. Struggles with placating his wife, who is convinced he is having an affair 
(which he may or may not be). 
 
CASSIE COOPER – (late 20’s, early 30’s) Glenn’s beautiful wife. Obsesses over her 
husbands’ relationships with other women. Quick to anger. Must rub her quartz crystal to 
calm herself down. 
 
OFFICER WELCH (M) – (30-50) – A city police officer having a rough night. Does not 
tolerate lying. Sees through the “classy” façade that these high-society types put up. 
 
OFFICER PUDNEY (F) – (20-30) – Welch’s partner. A strong but silent type.

 








 
 
 

Auditions will start at 6:30.  You will be asked to read from the script with other people auditioning. 
For more information, call the theatre at 615 826-6037 and leave a message.  Someone will get back with you as soon as possible.
(Cast descriptions are below)
Auditions will start at 6:30.  You will be asked to read from the script with other people auditioning. 
For more information, call the theatre at 615 826-6037 and leave a message.  Someone will get back with you as soon as possible.
(Cast descriptions are below)

Auditions will start at 6:30.  You will be asked to read from the script with other people auditioning. 
For more information, call the theatre at 615 826-6037 and leave a message.  Someone will get back with you as soon as possible.
(Cast descriptions are below)

Auditions will start at 6:30.  You will be asked to read from the script with other people auditioning. 
For more information, call the theatre at 615 826-6037 and leave a message.  Someone will get back with you as soon as possible.
(Cast descriptions are below)
Auditions
Honk!
Book and lyrics by Anthony Drewe; Music by George Stiles
February 24th 11:00 a.m. and 25th at 2:00 p.m.

Prepare a Broadway style song.  Bring your instrumental track on a CD, iphone, ipad, mp3 player, flash drive or smart device.  A sound system will be provided for easy hookup.  Please do not sing a cappella.

You will also be doing a cold read from the script.


MALE ROLES
UGLY The ugly ducking and the main character of Honk! Innocent, gawky, easily confused, very impressionable yet endearing. He doesn’t understand why being different seems to be wrong. However, his insecurities melt away as his character gradually changes from being innocent and gullible to wise and confident. He is the heart and soul of the show, using comedy and pathos. A good singer and actor who can build a strong relationship with the audience, and make them love him. Tenor – Lead
 THE CAT The sly (slimy even) cunning villain of the show. Suave, crafty and a great comic role. All of the other animals are deathly afraid of him. He is manipulative, cunning, witty and above all, HUNGRY. The Cat pretends to be Ugly’s friend so he can eat him. The actor playing this role should bring a real sense of fun to the character and have a good sense of comic timing. Baritone – Lead 
DRAKE Ida’s husband and a somewhat childish and irresponsible father. He’s a bit ‘flash’, cocky, unmindful of his husbandly duties and rather fond of the ladies. Drake is a sarcastic character. He is the stereotypical sitcom father, often shirking his husbandly/parental duties. Drake finds Ugly quite repulsive and isn’t afraid to say it to anyone, including his wife. He should have good comic timing and a strong singing voice. Drake opens the show singing “A Poultry Tale”. Baritone – Supporting 
GREYLAG A pompous, blustery goose, based on a stereotypical WWII Air Force commander. Absent-minded, full of himself, and as British as you can make him. (Think Col Hathi of the ‘elephant’ squadron in ‘Jungle Book’!) Graylag tends to over glorify his mundane activities (i.e. migrating South) to the level of military operation status. Only his wife, Dot, truly knows how to handle him. He sings a solo in “Wild Goose Chase. Bass – Cameo role. 
THE BULLFROG A laidback, self-confident frog with whom Ugly comes into contact in the second half of the show. Flash, friendly, huge, loveable character with a BIG personality – a sort of music hall comedian of the frog world. Needs an actor who loves to get out there and sell himself to the audience. The frog cheers Ugly up with his song, “Warts and All.” Optimistic and funny, he is a stand up comedian type of character suited to someone with good improvisational skills and comic timing. Bass/Baritone – Supporting. 
THE TURKEY Stereotypical, ‘headmaster’ of the ducklings’ school. A bit of a bully, he is snobbish and joins in the fun of teasing Ugly. There is of course one word that sends shivers down his spine – CHRISTMAS! Baritone – Cameo 
FEMALE ROLES
 IDA Ugly’s Mum. She is sweet, very maternal but feisty and independent. She knows how to handle her irresponsible husband, Drake. Ida is extremely protective of her son and committed to his safety. Ida and Ugly’s relationship is a key ingredient of the show. She is the one who teaches him that it is OK to be different. Ida sings several solos. Strong actor who needs to bring both comedy and pathos to the role. Alto – Lead. 
MAUREEN A moorhen and Ida’s best friend. She’s lively, well meaning, but a busybody. Cockney or northern accent would work well. Maureen genuinely loves Ida, but she can’t resist a bit of good gossip. To the little ducklings, she’s the typical overly affectionate but rather annoying, “aunt.” A lively comic role, Maureen sings “The Joy of Motherhood” with Ida, so she should also be a strong singer. Alto – Supporting role. 
QUEENIE A very domesticated cat with a saucy streak, as becomes evident when the Cat appears looking for Ugly. Haughty, superior, disdains the great outdoors. Queenie and Lowbutt are basically two single ladies living a very cozy life in what they consider to be a most select neighborhood – out of which they are determined to keep any riff-raff. However, Queenie is willing to dump her best friend as soon as a member of the opposite sex makes an appearance. Starting off haughty and aloof, she turns into a bit of a sex siren. Solo and duets with the Cat and Lowbutt. Mezzo – Supporting.
 LOWBUTT Queenie’s BFF, a domesticated chicken. A little nervous of disposition and a bit of a worrier. She and Queenie are both rather superior characters and ‘disdain’ the great outdoors. Lowbutt is very jealous when the Cat comes calling and she sees that Queenie’s attentions have clearly been redirected to him. Solo and duet with Queenie. Mezzo/Alto –Supporting.
 DOT Greylag’s gentle, understanding wife and second-in-command. A sort of air hostess-cum-lieutenant. She keeps Greylag in order and organises the squadron when he muffs everything and forgets what he is supposed to do. It is clear that she holds a senior rank in the squadron. A motherly type, she is genuinely concerned with helping Ugly find his mother. Dot doesn’t think that Graylag, her husband, is an entirely capable leader, but she kindly humors his “over the top” actions. She sings solo as well as with Graylag in “Wild Goose Chase.” Mezzo/Soprano – Supporting comedy role. 
GRACE “The most distinguished duck on the lake.” Very aristocratic, she is considered the queen of the duck yard. All of the other animals look up to Grace and respect her. She, of course, is quite aware of this and is therefore a little bit haughty. Alto or Soprano – Cameo role 
HENRIETTA A hen and another of Maureen’s friends. Another busybody in the neighborhood. Henrietta and Maureen gossip about the goings on in the duck yard. She takes great pleasure in making fun of Ugly. Mezzo. Cameo role 
PENNY The young, beautiful swan that Ugly saves from a tangled fishing net. She is able to see beyond Ugly’s looks and she loves him for who he is. Mezzo – Cameo role 
MALE/FEMALE ROLES
THE DUCKLINGS (UGLY’S SIBLINGS) Billy, Beaky, Downy, and Fluff. Generally portrayed as trendy, but also rather bratty kids. Gender and vocally negotiable. Females: Mezzo, Males Tenor 
BARNACLES, SNOWY, PINKFOOT + 5 OTHER GEESE Members of Graylag’s Goose Squadron and little bit, er, dim. Can be any gender. Goofy, comic. They join in singing “Wild Goose Chase.” Various vocal ranges. Supporting roles. 
FATHER SWAN, MOTHER SWAN Penny’s family. They help to console Ida when she thinks her son has died, and they offer to take Ugly with them when they migrate. They do not sing solos. 
JACK DAW/MAGGIE PIE An investigative reporter. A very “in your face” bird, all she/he cares about is getting a good story. She/he is the typical TV news personality who one would find on a reality TV show. She/he reports a story about Ugly’s disappearance. 
ENSEMBLE The remaining actors in the company play a number of different ensemble roles as barnyard animals, geese, frogs, and other characters who help move the story along.