Add More "Character"
to Your Life!

Check back here often for
updates about Auditions!

Coming Soon

March 27-28 at 6:30

For auditions, you will be asked to read from the script with other auditioners. 

Opal Kronkie, a middle-aged recluse, lives in general disarray in her tumbledown mansion at the edge of the municipal dump. Opal collects things-anything that can be toted home in her little red wagon. Opal is also an optimist, for no matter how mean her lot-or her "friends" – she responds with unfailing kindness and an abiding faith in the goodness of human nature. Into her rather strange world come Gloria, Bradford and Solomon, three purveyors of bogus perfume, on the lam from the authorities. Opal's home is the perfect hideout-and Opal, herself, might be the remedy for their shattered finances. They decide that what she needs is plenty of insurance, a rapid demise, and three beneficiaries named Gloria, Bradford and Solomon. Attempted murder wouldn't seem to be funny, but in Mr. Patrick's magic hands it is uproarious. The laughs ensue as the unsavory trio concocts elaborate schemes to ensure Opal’s demise.

Character Descriptions

OPAL KRONKIE: Age- late 50’s. Opal is bird-like and lives in a house in the middle of a dump. She is a junk collector who is very amiable and positive all the time.
**Actress must be able to do some physical humor and “stunts”, i.e. being pulled across the floor, etc.

GLORIA GULOCK: Age- 19-25. Gloria is over-dressed, with too much make-up. She has a brashness that compensates for her insecurity. She is hardened for 19. She has feelings for Brad.

BRADFORD WINTER Age- 25-30’s. Brad is threadbare but handsome. He is a man of superior intellect who uses it maliciously. His interest in Gloria is less than honorable.

SOLOMON BOZO: Age- late 35-40’s. Sol is the shabby boss of the trio of crooks. He charms to get what he wants. **Actor must be able to pull a heavy load.

OFFICER JOE JANKIE: Joe is a young local policeman who is slightly naive.

DOCTOR: An insurance doctor without a sense of humor.